NoAgenda Notes

No time for BS

My whole life I have been a chronic overthinker and even now I sometimes end up staring at the ceiling with 57373838 thoughts about some stuff outside of my control that can be ruining my mood, which results in lower energy, more procrastination, and less shit done during the day. However, in my teenage years, this was a way bigger problem, because bad results in school, a loss at kickboxing tournaments, or some relationship issues could drive me off the road for weeks.

It all suddenly changed when I experienced real tragedy and understood what it feels like to lose someone you love wholeheartedly. I still have these moments of useless overthinking, but rarely, than it was before I lost my father.

One trick that helps me out right now, that I have read in Carlos Castaneda's books, is imagining that there is always death by the left hand of yours looking at you. In the face of death 99% of our overthinking and negative thoughts are diminishing, so you don’t really have much time to dive and swim in this ocean of dread (most of the time it is an imaginary ocean). Here is a quote from his book:

"Death is our eternal companion. It is always to our left, an arm's length behind us. Death is the only wise adviser that a warrior has. Whenever he feels that everything is going wrong and he's about to be annihilated, he can turn to his death and ask if that is so. His death will tell him that he is wrong, that nothing really matters outside its touch. His death will tell him: 'I haven't touched you yet.'"

The clock is ticking.